my life

I’m here… safe and sound! I arrived in Denver at about 4pm local time, which was 11pm UK time, so I was pretty tired, but decided I was gonna have to stay up until a decent hour to try and overcome the jetlag.
After taking a ‘SuperShuttle’, I arrived at my £15/night hotel… yep £15 a night!! I doubt you could stay in a hole in the ground for that price in the UK… at least not a place with a swimming pool, digital on-demand TV, and 2 kingsize beds anyway. Which is what the lovely folk here at LaQuinta Hotel have provided me with.

My hotel just after the snow had started melting

When I arrived I was greeted by a Mexican who asked me if I was visiting Denver for the ‘Stock Show’. Now I’d seen a lot of adverts for this through the window of the SuperShuttle on the way, and wondered what it was all about. Apparently the Stock Show was a show full of cattle, and rodeo… Cowboys, that type of thing. When I said I wasn’t here for that he highly recommended I go there, as it was on for another week and a half. I think I might pay it a visit. He also said that the Stock Show was a great place to buy ‘Bishels’ (or something like that)… Bishels turned out to be fertiliser. I’ve got to admit, I was wondering where I might be able to find some.

Right next door to my hotel is a Denny’s restaurant. Perfect. Denny’s is the USA’s “Biggest Dining Experience”. By this time I was starving, so I put my case in my room and trundled over to sample the delicacies on offer there… Couldn’t find any, so I ended up having the biggest, greasiest burger I have probably ever eaten: “Denny’s Super Swiss Cheese and Mushroom Bacon Burger” – when in Rome…! I can see how it’s very easy to be fat here. $10 for my burger, with tons of ‘Season Fries’ and re-fillable Dr Pepper.

There was some crazy stuff on that menu, and one meal in particular caught my eye: ‘Moons Over My Hammy’ – which conjoured up images of mooning and hamsters – not a good combination, unless you’re a Pet Shop Boy. Best of all, ‘Moons Over My Hammy’ was topped off with grit – Mmmm. I didn’t like to ask.

Moons Over My Hammy® - with Grit!

After my fill I went back to the hotel with the intention of staying up until about midnight, so I could ease my way into my new time zone… only managed 10 o’clock and woke up WIDE AWAKE at 5am. Could I get back to sleep then? Not a chance.

I was up, flicking through 72 channels of absolute shite on the TV… and I mean, if you think our measly 5 channels are a poor show, multiply them by about 15, remove the good programmes, add a 5 minute ad break every 5 minutes and that’s what I was left with. So I watched Phoenix Nights on my laptop until it got light.

I looked out of the window and IT’S SNOWING!!

When it was day time enough (about 8am) I went down for breakfast and set off for the downtown area of Denver on a number 38 bus. It’s amazing what a little bit of sleep and fresh snow can do to a place… it made Denver look totally different from the night before.

I got into the city at about 9.30 and the place was like a ghost town. So quiet and hardly a soul around. It wasn’t until about 11am that the place started filling up… people get up late here!! I feel like I’m going to fit right in. I have a theory about this: they drink a lot of coffee over here. A LOT of coffee. Refills everywhere. The reason they get up so late is probably due to them lying awake in bed until 4 in the morning shaking from all the caffeine.

Anyway, by about 3pm it had stopped snowing, the sun was shining, and I had myself a new US mobile number:

It’s 303 884 6274 (or +1 303 884 6274 from the UK).

So it’s 7pm now. I’m sitting, typing away in a little internet cafe, and I’ve still not adjusted my body clock to my new time zone. Time for some more shitty TV and bed I think.